Dawnsky · Chronicles

I'm sorry, I'm sorry forevermore,
I never meant those words.
You know that I'm screaming,
In my head and heart,
That I'm sorry.

I would spend every moment of my life pretending
Just to know you forgive me,
Just to know that you still love me.

I've watched days pass by
In silence.
I'd  lose myself completely,
Just to know that you see
I'm screaming in my heart and mind
That I'm sorry.
I want you to live, to stay with me.

I was never strong enough, good enough,
For your forgiveness,
But I fall before you,
And whisper, "I'm sorry."
I never tried to forget,
That you're my heart and soul.

Almost broken,
My only strength,
I can't go on. 
I'm sorry, I'm sorry forevermore.
I felt my lips form the words.
You know I never meant them.

I won't and can't run from you anymore.
You own me, completely and fully.
I never once stopped to think
That this wasn't me, and what I said
Wasn't you.
I see naught, and you're far too strong.

I fall before you,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry forevermore.
I won't flee anymore.
I am yours, always and forever.

(( This was actually a song I wrote for my best friend, after a dispute. It's one of the most personal songs I've ever written. ))

 Anna has returned from battle! But she seems to be the worse for wear. Her hair is just growing back, as she had to cut it. You see, she had to pretend she was male, or else they wouldn't let her fight. I have no idea why, however; They have let many a woman protect this world. Anyhow, though...

Anna has a large gash on her cheek and several scars on her waist. Her hands are rough and cracked. Her legs are slashed. Her appearance is nothing like my dear cousin, and not much her personality, either. Her tongue has been roughened by her battlemates, and she is far more crude. She is not much like the lady who left home, who left me. However, this does not mean I don't still love her. On the contrary, she is far more amusing now, not so serious. But nonetheless, I was surprised to see this tomboy.

Actually, the song in my last entry was partly for her. You see, before she left, we had a rather big disagreement. I had been feeling truly horrible a week before she was taking off. It was as if I was falling into the Forgetters' group once again. I was doing smoking and drinking in secret. Anna caught me one night, and was furious. She roared that I was killing myself, and that I was selfish enough to want to be dead, that I didn't care about my friends and family. I can understand her anger, now. But at the time, I was just as angry.
      I said, quietly, that she understood nothing. I thought she didn't understand what I was going through. What I didn't understand, however, is that she had gone through the same thing. She didn't want that fate for me. Long story short, though, she left within a few days. We haven't spoken since, up until now, and I am extremely glad to see her. I told her everything, (save some things about Mynai. Mynai should tell her when she wants, or if she wants,) and also played my song for her. That song sounds beautiful on the guitar. (( I don't care if guitars weren't invented in medieval times. :D I like dem. ))