Papers were strewn all across the floor, as were empty wine bottles. Rags that had once been beautiful gowns lay in shreds next to her bed, which was almost overturned. The window was still wide open and the curtains drawn back. At the foot of the bed was a trunk with half of the contents spilling out. But one paper in particular caught Malendria's eye.
It was a letter, in Eleanea's handwriting (the handwriting she had before her mind shattered.) It was short, but it was enough to make Malendria pick it up. The neat, small words seemed to be written just before Eleanea had leapt from the window. It read:
To Trell,
I know that I have been impatient with you. I know that I have been depressed and unpleasant company. I know that I have made you worry and frustrated, and for these things I am more sorry that words can describe. You have been a friend, a mother, and a sister to me, and so I thank you for giving me memories that I will never forget. Thank you for helping me. Thank you for making me laugh. I will never forget you, not even as my life draws to an end. I hope you can forgive me for what I am about to do. Perhaps I will come back, someday...Somehow. But for now, it seems unlikely. So thank you for everything you've done for me, Trell, and being the best friend I've ever had.
Love,
Eleanea
P.S. Tell Anoralei that I love her, that I'm so incredibly sorry, and that I will tell her father that she misses him.
Malendria ran a hand through her long, thick hair, just staring at the letter. A bit of Eleanea's madness had leaked into the letter; how could she come back? Malendria prayed that, if there was indeed a way, Eleanea would take it. But there didn't seem to be a way, in the past or in the future...
Eleanea's sister put the letter in an envelope and dropped it in the mailbox, resisting the urge to burst into tears once more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Edana lay on her bed, giving way to blood-curling shrieks. Her belly was swollen with twin babies, but they were arriving early, much to everyone's surprise. Edana was drenched with perspiration, writhing and twisting in the bed while her siblings tried to restrain her and hold her down. But when anyone tried to touch her, arcane would shoot from her hands (unintentionally) and force them to retreat.
Edana had never experienced such physical pain. Her body felt as if it was on fire, as if the twins were stabbing their way out of her stomach with daggers. The physician was at a loss as to what to do; no amount of healing seemed to help this young woman. She just continued to scream incoherently, her eyes rolled back into her head.
"Help her!" the mother shouted, holding onto her daughter and weeping, evading the shots of arcane. "Save my girl! Save her!"
"She's not trying to save herself!" the physician roared over Edana's shrieks. "She's letting herself die...Push, Edana!"
Push she did, with a deafening scream. And, thank the Gods, a baby came out -- a baby girl. But she wasn't breathing, nor was her heart beating. The physician exchanged a glance with the nurse he had brought with him and handed the baby to her. The nurse immediately started to work on the baby girl, and, thankfully, blood started to flow. She let out a loud wail and, for a few seconds, that was all that was heard in the room.
"A baby girl."
"Mary," Edana breathed, giving a weak, grateful smile. But after, the screaming and unbelievable pain started again while little Mary was being cleaned off and handed to one of Edana's sisters. The second baby came out fast, and he was breathing and wailing right away.
"It's a boy, Miss O'Reilly!"
"Jack," Edana whispered, her eyes fluttering open and closed. The name Jack brought the sweetest taste to her mouth...Jack...Jack...The name of the two men she had loved first; the name of the man she was going to marry. Jack Corwynn, whom she had not seen for months. Jack, who she loved more than anything. She had given birth to their children...But he wasn't there. He hadn't been there for her in weeks.
"Jack!" she cried suddenly. "Jack! Help me, Jack, please...please help me!" The burning sensation was coming back, and she was in even more pain than before. The babies were killing her.
"We should have done a cesarean," the physician whispered, horrified as he watched Edana die before his eyes. Again and again they tried to heal her, but to no avail. She was slipping away, screaming her fiance's name all the while. No one was able to save her -- no one was strong enough. The room was filled with screeches and wails, from the tiny Corwynn family. Edana cried for her babies, the babies cried for their mother, but none of them would meet each other. The mother was leaving the earth, her screams getting quieter and quieter until they ceased altogether.
Edana's breathing stopped, and then her heart. The only sound in the room were the babies crying, and they were taken away by the nurse. The physician closed his eyes, checking her pulse. She was gone.
"I am...so sorry, Mr. and Mrs. O'Reilly," he whispered. "Your daughter has gone away from us. She's gone to a happier place."
Mrs. O'Reilly burst into tears, throwing herself over her daughter's corpse, not allowing to touch it. She wiped the sweat and blood off of Edana's pale, cold face and fixed her hair, so she looked like she had before all of this; despite the swelling, she looked beautiful. She looked like the girl who had never met Jack Corwynn, who had never met that man that impregnated her and did not come to watch her die, to try to save her.
"My beautiful Edana," Mrs. O'Reilly wept. "No...No! Please wake up...Please..."
But she didn't wake up. She just drifted off into an eternal, peaceful sleep...The last thing she had seen were her babies, which, despite everything, had made her smile. She was at peace. She had died in place of her children, and she was glad she could take their place. Edana was happy when she left the earth.
To Whom It May Concern,
It is with utmost sadness and regret that I write to you this news; my sister, Eleanea Aley'ni Dawnsky, passed away last night. There has never been such a horrible loss that I can recall, and I am sorry that I was the one to inform you. A funeral is to be held, but the date is not yet scheduled.
-Athela Dawnsky
She swallowed and placed the letters in the mailbox. They were only addressed to five people; Trell, Jandercia, Kelazuri, Ladran, and Casim. Those were the only people who mattered to Eleanea, at that point; the only people who had really been in her life.
But Athela didn't dwell on it for long; she simply prayed that the letters would reach Eleanea's friends soon. She dragged herself up to her bedroom and lay down in bed, staring at the roof. She could hear Anoralei's wailing in the next room, her screaming for her mother and father...Eleanea, who had been her best friend, her playmate, her mother. Renais, who had been the only blood-relative she had -- they were both gone. She had nothing left, she felt....The Dawnsky siblings would have to work hard be the parents she was never able to have.
"Eleanea! Eleanea!" the woman shrieked, every syllable dripping with pain and horror. A red-haired woman ran into the room, as well, to stand next to her shouting sister.
"Malendria, what's---" But Athela didn't need to finish. Laying on the ground, beneath the tall window, was a white figure. It was a young woman, with long, auburn hair and wearing a shimmering gossamer dress. Her hair was spread out around her pale face, which had a look of bliss upon it. However, dark crimson soaked the cobblestones she lay on.
"Light," Athela whispered. "Oh, no...Eleanea!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What life had been like for Eleanea before the dark curtain was drawn back over her face was all a blur. She remembered those important in her life -- her family, Anoralei, Kelazuri, Trell, Jandercia, Casim, Ladran -- but one person in particular stuck out; Renais. And that's who occupied her mind for the months she had been gone away from those who cared about her. She thought about him so much that, eventually, her mind shattered. Everything she saw was gray, and life didn't truly feel like it was worth living.
She had cut her hair in a jagged, unappealing way; it was short and choppy, as she had just used a kitchen knife. She secluded herself, hardly ever leaving her bedroom and just conjuring very small amounts of food and water for herself, just enough to keep herself alive. She had been in denial that Renais was even dead, writing letters to him and then burning them, throwing the ashes out of her window in hopes that the words would get to him. Her family was at a loss at what to do, but truly, there wasn't much they could do.
Eleanea started to not feed herself two weeks before she fell from the window. She sat at her piano for hours on end, playing the lullaby she had written for Renais over and over again. However, some of her old self was still there, at times. She would play with Anoralei, or else make sure someone was there to take care of her. That was all she retained -- the intense love she held for her daughter, Renais's daughter, and the urgent need to make sure she was well-cared for. That was all she had to live for, and the only thing that mattered to her.
But soon, it was too much. All she heard in her head, most of the time, was Renais's voice, simply conversing with her. Sometimes they would argue when Eleanea was thinking about what she could do to take the pain away. He would scold her and tell her not to think about that; and then he would wrap his arms around her and hold her to him, murmuring words of comfort. She would spin around her room, thinking she was dancing with him. But when she opened her eyes, no one was there.
And then, one cool, breezy night, Eleanea heard Renais calling to her from across Eversong Woods. She smiled, slid out of bed, and walked to the window, sticking her head out into the darkness. She was amaciated, and her blood was already starting to slow and cool. It was only a matter of time before she would be with him; why not make it sooner?
Stepping up onto the windowsill, Eleanea spread her arms out, the wind picking up fast. It blew her hair -- which was now nearly to her hamstrings -- behind her head. Her long-sleeved gown shimmered in the moonlight, and she closed her eyes, smiling. She reached her arms out to the tree next to her bedroom window and took enough leaves to make a crown, which she did, and placed it on her head. She wound more leaves into her hair and looked up at the starry sky, breathing in the fragrant night air deeply.
She took a small step forward on the wide windowsill and, without a second thought, leapt from it. She felt like she was flying through the air, which was wooshing past her. She just smiled as she fell in what felt like an eternity. Renais was calling to her, his voice getting louder and louder as she got closer to the ground.
And when she hit the cobblestones, she cried out -- not in pain, no, but in joy; indestructible, beautiful joy. The back of her head was becoming warm and wet, but she just laughed and let her eyes flutter open and closed until, finally, all was black. All was peaceful. All was wonderful.
"I'm coming, darling," were her last words, spoken in a fervent and adoring whisper. A few seconds later, her soul left her body and went to join her beloved's, because that was what she had wanted all along, and what she had needed. She wasn't going to be truly happy without him...And now that she was with him, everything was perfect. For once, she felt at peace, because death was the only thing that could bring that to her.
She died for love,
She died for need,
She died for him,
She died for nothing.
She flew through the air like a dove
Just as she always wanted
She found no peace in the world of earthly things
She found no joy in material possessions
She no longer found happiness among her friends
So she found the one solution that was best
Eleanea Dawnsky, rest in peace
Angel in white
Eleanea Dawnsky, it was before your time
But no more dreams of darkness will enter your mind
So sleep softly, sweet Eleanea,
And join your darling man.
I don't think it's worth it to try and get it back -- it's just going to get hacked again...
"I love you," Eleanea murmured as Renais brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face. He pressed his lips to her forehead, smiling.
"I love you, Eleanea," he said softly. "More than anything. There's nothing to be afraid of while I'm here." He glanced up at the sky before sighing.
"Time to wake up, now, dearest," he whispered. "Never enough time, is there?" Slowly did he fade away, Eleanea grasping desperately at air, crying his name. It just rang through the forest as he disappeared, watching his love sadly as he did so.
"Eleanea!" Someone was stroking her face with warm, anxious hands. Blearily, she opened her eyes and attempted to move, only to be unsuccesful. She was wrapped so tightly in her sheets it felt like she was wearing a straight jacket. Athela was sitting on the bed next to her sister, her wide eyes nervous. Eleanea sighed and began to untangle herself.
"Did I wake Anoralei up again?" she asked dully. Athela shook her head and assisted Eleanea.
She had taken to crying out while she was sleeping, mostly Renais's name; calling it as if her life depended on it. Her dreams would always start out well, and then they would slowly turn into nightmares. But they were so vivid, most of the time -- she was happy to have them. It was like being back in his arms, where she knew no harm could come to her.
"I'm okay, Athela," she whispered, falling back against the pillows. Athela bit her lower lip before nodding and rising, quietly exiting the room. Eleanea sighed and rose, as well, walking over to her window. She wore only a short white nightdress, but she climbed onto the windowsill and breathed in the sweet air of Eversong Woods. She drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She rested her cheek on one knee.
"He'll never understand how much he meant to me, now," she whispered, gazing out into the purple-pink sky. "How very precious he was." She sighed and closed her eyes.
"Before you, Renais," she murmured. "Life was like night; very dark, but there were stars, points of sense and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor, and everything was bright; there was brilliancy, beauty...I've loved you since that first day in the Wayfarer's Inn. But what would you think if you saw me now?" With a second sigh, she ran a hand through her hair.
"Just come back," she said, her voice cracking. "Just come back; shoot across my sky again..."
She knew full well that she needed the money if she were to support Anoralei. But Renais had never wanted that fate for Eleanea....But, surely, he would want her daughter taken care of? Eleanea had no desire to teach anymore; she was so tired, just barely alive.
"Sharp-witted and intelligent," she muttered. "Right." She threw the letter on top of her piano, where it quickly got mixed into the other papers. She sighed again, glancing outside her wide window. Night was peaceful. Night was dark. She had taken to working nights; any other time, she was with Anoralei.
Eleanea had sunk to handling the wages of the people who worked in the Wayfarer's Inn. It was all she felt she could do, at this point. It was easy enough, as only a few people worked there. Besides...Her knowledge for calculations had never been put to work very much.
But she couldn't erase the letter from her mind. Giving a rather frustrated grunt, she ran her hand through her long hair and rose, pushing through the masses of paper on top of her piano and grabbing the letter from it, kicking the papers that had fallen to the ground. She seized a quill, a bottle of ink, and a piece of paper, slamming the latter two down on the table. She quickly scrawled a reply.
To Whom It May Concern,
The offer is greatly appreciated, and I am honored that I was chosen. Thank you. I'm currently in a circumstance where I feel that joining your ranks may be somewhat mandatory. I will meet with you as soon as I can.
-E. Dawnsky
If they thought her a Quel'dorei, then so be it. Drastic times called for drastic measures.
What had happened?
Eleanea stood in front of a house that looked nearly demolished, just a few half walls standing up. There were a few things buried under the rubble, but that was about it. Her hair fluttered lightly in the wind, and the sun streamed onto her face. Eleanea took a deep breath and braced herself before walking into what was left of Renais's house.
She shifted through the mass of rubble; she found scraps of brightly colored silk, quills, broken ink bottles, empty wine bottles. But Renais didn't drink. She picked up one of the bottles, frowning, turning it around in her hands. But something caught her eye across the destroyed room.
It was a bust of a woman, broken in half. Slowly, Eleanea walked towards it and picked up the two halves, pressing them together. She recognized the face; Scen. She bit her lower lip gently, examining it closely. Easy enough to fix...Her hands began to glow with arcane energy, and, slowly, the two pieces fit back into place. Eleanea glanced around for a place to put the bust, and had to settle on a cracked table. It would do, for now.
Eleanea continued to wander around the house, pressing her fingertips lightly against what was left of the walls. She stepped on something, and heard a shattering of glass. Curiously, she leaned down and picked up the item. It was a frame for a picture. She removed the drawing from it and examined it closely.
It was of a lovely young woman, with a slight, sweet smile and long, dark hair. She had large eyes, but they were small enough that they lookd pretty. She wondered who it was, until she saw the nightingale pendant hanging around the girl's neck.
It was her, in Renais's point of view. He had made her so beautiful.
Eleanea stared at the drawing for a little while longer, dumbstruck that anyone was able to see her like that. But he had. She folded it up carefully, holding it to her chest, and continued around the house. But, in the corner, she saw a large lump-like thing. Hesitantly, she made her way over to it.
When she reached it, she realized it was actually a man. He was asleep, holding an empty wine bottle in his hand. His wide chest rose and fell as he slept, and Eleanea frowned. Was this who had trashed Renais's house? A sudden flash of anger tore through her body, and she prodded the man rather more roughly than she had planned. He didn't move. With a sigh, she conjured a flask of water, pouring it over his head. With a yelp, he jumped to his feet, tottering slightly.
"What?" he said angrily. "What do you---" He cut off as he examined her, looking over her from head to foot. A slight smirk pulled at his lips.
"Well, hello there, love," he said, his voice suddenly smooth. Eleanea growled quietly.
"Who are you?" she demanded. "Why are you here?" The man perked a brow, his eyes locked on her face and his mouth slightly agape.
"You're..." he sputtered. "Oh, damn! The Dawnsky girl!"
"Yes," Eleanea said dryly. "The late Mr. Iceblood's fiancee. But, I repeat myself...Who are you?"
"Just...Just call me Sunrunner," he said, rubbing the side of his head. Eleanea stared at him before her hands began to flame lightly.
"Is that right?" she whispered. "Oh, yes. The one who abandoned Anoralei. The one who destroyed my fiancee's house before he was even dead! You pig! I ought to kill you here and now!"
"Let's not be hasty, Miss Dawnsky," he said hastily, backing up a bit. "Anoralei was a little brat--" Eleanea's hand went flying to his face, punching him in the nose. With a howl, Sunrunner fell back.
"It was your duty!" she yelled. "Your duty to take care of her when Renais wasn't able to! And I find her at my house, looking gaunt and worn, while you're out here partying in her old house! GET OUT! Get out, or I will make sure you meet the grave soon!"
Sunrunner stared at her furious face, her flaming hands, and didn't try to argue. He ran out of the demolished house, leaving Eleanea to seethe by herself.
"I wonder what else he stole," she muttered, watching a shiny bobble fall out of his pocket.
Be strong. Be strong for Anoralei.
Eleanea gazed at the house before her. It was just as she had remembered it; her favorite flowers in the garden, wide windows, clean outside walls. The sun poured onto her face, and she had made some effort to make herself look presentable...At least, she had brushed her hair and washed up. All of her dresses were worn, now, so there wasn't much she could do about that.
"Aarfen," she said quietly. There was a shadow moving around in the upper story, in the form of a man. The only man she would want to see, at the moment.
Slowly, deliberately, Eleanea made her way into the house. Her auburn hair fell in soft waves down her back, falling beneath her waist. She wore a plain purple dress made of cotton. She wondered if her lack of confidence was apparent on her face.
Malendria was sitting on a chaise lounge, a book in her lap. Athela was sketching on her notepad. And then...there was a young girl. She lay, curled up, on a small bed covered with red silk sheets. She snored lightly, her white hair spread out around her head. Eleanea's breath caught in her throat.
My daughter.
Malendria glanced up from her book and her eyes widened. She flew up to a standing position and gave Eleanea a bone-crushing hug. Athela, always as gentle and soft as moth wings, embraced her youngest sister. Tears were starting in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," Eleanea whispered, starting to feel weepy, herself. "I love you." Both of her sisters stepped back, drinking their sister in carefully. Then the look of comprehension fell over their faces.
"Oh, Eleanea," Athela said softly, grabbing her into another hug. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
There was movement where Anoralei was, and then a small voice floated over their heads.
"Athela? Malendria?"
My daughter.
Slowly, Eleanea made her way over to Anoralei and knelt beside her bed. She gazed into her eyes, and Anoralei stared simply back before jumping up, throwing her arms around Eleanea.
"Eleanea! Eleanea!" she cried. "I missed you! Where's Daddy? Did you bring Daddy?" A lump rose into Eleanea's throat, and she shook her head.
"No, love," she whispered. "Daddy is...is...Daddy's not coming back." Anoralei stared at her again, puzzled.
"Why?" she asked, her voice shooting up an octave. "Why isn't he coming back?" But she knew why, and she gave way to tears. Eleanea clutched her to her chest while she heard Athela and Malendria quietly exit the room.
"I want Daddy!" Anoralei wailed. "I never got to say g-g-goodbye!"
"Anoralei," Eleanea whispered. "Look at me." The young girl looked up at the woman before her, still sobbing.
"I miss your daddy, too. I've never...never felt more longing for him than now. But he wouldn't want us to be sad. He wouldn't want to see his little girl crying...But do you remember his face, his voice, things he had said to you?"
Anoralei nodded, sniffling. Eleanea smiled softly.
"Then you'll always have him," she said, stroking Anoralei's hair. "Never, ever forget your father. He was the...the most wonderful person I have ever met. Even though this will be hard, we'll always be there for each other, okay?"
"Okay," Anoralei whispered tearfully. Eleanea hugged her tightly, breathing in her delicate scent. She was such a beautiful girl.
"Eleanea," she said after a short pause. "Does this mean you're my mommy?"
She bit her lower lip. Did it mean that? Yes, she had thought of Anoralei as her daughter.
"Do you want me to be?" Eleanea asked. Anoralei stared her hard in the face -- Anoralei Iceblood...the last part of Renais she had left.
"Yes," Anoralei said finally. Eleanea brushed a strand of white hair out of her face, kissing her forehead gently.
"Then I am," she said simply. The golden engagement finger felt like dead weight on her hand...But she didn't care. It was a part of her, now...As was her daughter. Her Anoralei.
All she could feel was burning. She knew flames had to be wrapped around her whole body. But all she could think about is why she couldn't scream...And why no one had taken mercy and killed her yet.
Her throat was constricting, and her chest rose and fell quickly. Her auburn hair was spread out around her head, and her eyes were drawn tightly closed. Her white gown was rags, just covering her chest and parts of her arms. She had been this way for a week.
Meet me in a place where this will all be better, Eleanea moaned inwardly. Take me away where it's just you and I. The only word she had said -- and it had been in a shriek -- was 'Renais.' "Renais! RENAIS! Please, Light, please...RENAIS!"
She could vaguely remember that one of her fire spells had backfired, but nothing else. However, she was starting to welcome the pain...Because something wasn't right. Renais wasn't right. No. Something was very, very, very wrong...The worst possible thing had happened.
Eleanea stared at the top of the cave she had been living in. Her whole body was trembling. This is just a nightmare, she told herself. Just a nightmare. She rolled over onto her side -- she had felt no pain such as this. There was no pain that could be the equivalent to this.
Calmly, steadily, she rose to her feet. There was a very easy way to resolve this. She went over to her backpack that sat in the corner and drew out a gleaming steel blade, raising it high above her wrist. Renais's face swam in front of her eyes, which were starting to water.
She started to bring the blade down to her veins, tears running down her cheeks. But something held her back -- another face. A young girl with bone-white hair. She looked so sad.
"No," Eleanea whispered. "Oh, Gods, no! Renais! No! Anoralei!" She was screaming, now. She dragged the dagger across her arms, savoring every moment of pain. But she didn't cut deep enough to kill her. Tossing the bloody dagger on the ground, she sank down to her knees, gasping for breath. She was Anoralei's mother, now. She had to live, at least until Anoralei could take care of herself.
"I swear, Renais," she whispered fiercely. "I will love her and guard her with my life. This is all I can give you, now. I love you...I love you. I love you."
Eleanea felt dizzy, desensitized, light-headed. She was on the hard, cold stone floor of what looked like a stone prism. Her whole body was damp, her hair spreading out around her head. Unsteadily, she rose to her feet. The stone prism swayed before her, hurting her eyes. She gave a content sigh once she figured out where she was. The cave in Mulgore.
Her bag of clothes and other necesseties sat in the corner, and moisture dripped down from the top of the cave. She realized that her face was wet, but not with the water that fell upon her. Wiping the wetness away with the back of her hand, she understood she'd been crying. Why, though? And why was she wearing the Dangui Trell had given her? She blinked as she gathered her thoughts. Her mind screamed just one word, however.
Renais...
Renais...
Renais...?
Renais!
She felt faint again. Had Jandercia told Eleanea that she had seen him in the Howling Fjord? Alive? Eleanea's heart ached for him. Yes, she remembered, now. She had been crying tears of joy for hours on end. She had sent Renais, her Renais, a letter when she had heard of this. The writing was shaky, but she had never been more honest nor desperate than she had been in those writing.
To my Renais,
I love you. I love you. I miss you, and I need you. Jandercia told me she saw you in the Fjord. Please, my darling, if this is true, reply as soon as possible. I love you so much, my dearest, and when I heard what Jandercia said, it felt like a huge gray cloud had been pushed out of the way of a glorious full moon. You are my reason for living, because you are my life. I love you, and please never forget that I will always be waiting for you, with open arms. I love you.
~Eleanea
The small hope that she would get a reply from him created such a massive amount of joy that she was nearly glowing with it. For once, in a very long time, she felt the familiar joy she had whenever she was with Renais.
(( Edit: What the hell, man? D: My account got hacked AGAIN...God. ))
You could have any man you want, Eleanea...Don't you remember those fools that flocked after you? Go and get them and stop wishing for things you can never have.
Eleanea was afraid that her sanity was beginning to shatter. Trell had told her Renais's mind may not have been able to stand up to so many months of solitude...And that had nearly driven Eleanea herself insane. She would feel so much better if she knew that Renais - her Renais - had his mind. But maybe being insane in a prison cell was better than being able to think clearly. Maybe you could see pretty images and peaceful new beginnings. Yes, maybe her Renais was happy, after all.
But that didn't explain the constant battles she had with herself. No...She would never go back to Kelazuri, or Ladran. She would not go to any man and try to win their heart - though she knew it would be only too easy. No. She would continue to wait, and wait, and wait. It may take a few more weeks or months or years, even...And she would still be waiting for him, her dearest love.
"I made a promise," she whispered. "And I will follow through with it...even if it kills me."
Do you think that, like...a couple of Ele's expedition people could find Renais? :o One could get killed, and the other could deliver a message to Ren from Ele, and vice-versa. Just an idea.
Also. Do you have an AIM account? I miss talking to you. D:
Eleanea no longer wore the mask and the black gown. No. Renais wouldn't have wanted her to do that. However, the physical and emotional pain was stronger than ever, to the point it was nearly blinding her. She was sure she couldn't hold on for much longer. But, a dream she had -- one fantastic, unbelievable dream -- had stopped her from ending it all. It had gone something like this...
Eleanea stood in front of the Bazaar fountain, gazing at her reflection. It was radiant, perfect, but tragic. Her auburn hair was thick, shiny, falling in cascades down her back and to her waist. Her cheeks were blossoming with color. The person she saw was a complete stranger to her eyes. The sky was bright blue and cloudless, the sun shining down brilliantly. People bustled around, chattering and walking across the red cobblestones of the Bazaar. But one person in particular stuck out.
It was a tall man in robes. His raven black hair was in spikes, his eyes crystal blue. His snow-white skin was nearly shimmering in the sunlight. His face -- handsome, beautiful, stunning, perfect -- was smooth, emotionless. But when he saw Eleanea, his eyes locked with hers, blazing.
"Renais," she whispered and, then, louder, "RENAIS!" She sprinted towards him, shoving through the crowds of people. His arms were wide, and she leaped into them, twisting her legs around his waist. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and their lips met. The kiss was urgent, passionate. Eleanea felt light-headed, feeling like she had just taken her first breath of fresh air. She was crying and laughing at the same time, but unable to pull away from him. She was afraid that if she moved, he would disappear.
"I love you," Renais pulled away long enough to whisper. "I love you. I'm sorry. I love you."
"I love you, Renais," she murmured, pressing her lips to every part of his face. "I need you. Please don't leave. Please. Please don't leave me."
"I won't," he said fiercely, putting his hands gently on either side of her face. "Never again. I will always be here, my dearest. My Eleanea." She was just crying, now, tears falling thick and fast down her face, burning her cheeks. Renais brushed the tears away with his lips, holding her to him. She noticed his now blue eyes looked watery, as well.
"I love you," they whispered in unison.
That was when Eleanea woke up to Mithiri shrieking her morning call. She closed her eyes, trying to hold onto the dream. But that was silly. She would always remember it, no matter what happened to her. It was precious. But it had felt so...real. Oh, what she would give for that to be true. Her life, eternal damnation? Of course. Just for one moment with Renais, so she could say how much she loved him. How much she needed him, how much she missed him. But...she had no idea if she would ever get the chance.
Trell, Jandercia, Casim, Relorian, Ladran, Kelazuri.
Renais. Renais. Renais. Renais. Renais. Renais.
The first group of people Eleanea wanted to see. The second group -- the name that constantly rang in her head -- she needed to see. The point of need caused her actual physical pain. It was a constant reminder, throbbing in her gut and her chest. It felt like someone had shoved several rusty spikes into her body, pulling them out and pushing them back in at every moment. But she wasn't going to just stand around anymore -- oh, no. It was time to take action.
She pulled her dark blue hood over her head, wrapping the extra fabric around the lower part of her face. She dressed in a black and blue gown that covered every inch of her; Eleanea no longer looked like herself. She was a stranger when she looked in the mirror. But she couldn't dwell on that. She had work to do.
Eleanea walked slowly down the Farstrider's Square. Her footsteps were silent, and her black gown swirled behind her. Keeping her eyes straight ahead -- which was the only part of her that was exposed -- she entered into the large hall in the center of the square. Blood Knights and paladins surrounded her, guards walking in and out. Standing in front of a table was a tall, white-haired man. He was bent over a map, drawing routes out on it while other soldiers stood nearby. Eleanea cleared her throat quietly, and one of the soldiers walked towards her.
"I have business with General Aerthol Blazetreade," she said. Her voice, which had been so rarely used in the past weeks, was hoarse and cold. It had a certain sense of authority that surprised even her, made her somewhat afraid of herself.
The white-haired man turned slowly towards Eleanea. His face was lined, tired. He stared at the young woman in front of him warily; she was entirely unfamiliar to him. Her gloved hands were clenched into fists, and more heat radiated from her than a roaring fire. Her eyes were cold, hard, emotionless. Even the general of an army found her intimidating.
"My name is Eleanea Dawnsky," she continued in the flat, icy voice. "I had contacted you earlier this month." Comprehension flickered in Blazetreade's eyes; the young woman whose fiancee had been killed in battle. But what was the problem, now? Why did she need his help?
"Miss Dawnsky," he murmured. "Of course. You said your business was urgent?"
"Yes," she replied. "My fiancee has been captured within the limits of Northrend. I have no idea of his whereabouts. Mr. Iceblood disappeared just days before our wedding; I know he wouldn't just run away like that. He had a good reason, and something is very, very wrong if he hasn't returned yet. I'm willing to pay you an extremely hefty sum if you gather up all of your best trackers, your best soldiers, and start an expedition to Northrend." As she said this, she drew a sack of gold from her pocket. Hanging around her neck was a thick rope of gold with a huge ruby hanging from it. She tossed both of these to Blazetreade.
"This is just a preview of what you will receive. Now. Will you help me?"
The general stared at Eleanea, holding his rewards in one hand. They were heavy, and the ruby bumped against his wrist. An expedition to Northrend, just to find one man? It seemed ridiculous. But as the seconds ticked by, the heat coming from Eleanea was nearly unbearable. He knew, as flames started to lick at her hands, that he had no other choice.
"Very well," he said in a small voice. She found slight amusement and slight pity for the man; he sounded so afraid of her. "We will try to find your fiancee, Miss Dawnsky. His name is Iceblood?"
"Renais Iceblood. He's an ex-Magister of Silvermoon. I will be eternally grateful if you can find him...Words won't even be able to describe..." She trailed off, her smooth voice threatening to crack. Blazetreade nodded and, without another word, Eleanea swept out of the hall. She didn't have total confidence that they could find him, but...Hope was blazing brighter than ever.
Slam! Slam! Slam!
Eleanea hit her hand against the stone wall in front of her, tears running madly down her sunken, sallow cheeks. She certainy looked nothing like the woman he had gone away from; once beautiful and lithe, now worn and thin. The tips of her long, auburn hair were starting to gray. There seemed to be permanent purple bruises of exhaustion undernearth her eyes. Everytime she bathed, she could see her ribs sticking out of her skin. It made her feel sick to her stomach, but she would do nothing to resolve it. She was sick of trying so hard, and she would no longer do it. Just avoid people, so they won't lecture her on 'getting over it' and 'moving on.'
The thought of 'getting over it' made her laugh out loud. The ring on her finger was now a painful reminder of what she had lost, but still she refused to remove it. It was much a part of her as was her heart. Taking it off would be enough to kill Eleanea.
She had come to grips that she was pathetic for wishing for him to come back, unable to function without his presence. She would take death quietly, knowing she had dealt with everything wrong, and knowing that she didn't care. Renais -- she forced herself to think of the name -- would have wanted her to be happy. The only way she could be happy, however, was to be dead and cold and still in the ground. She wished she could be light-hearted again, able to make her movements so graceful that it looked like she was dancing across the floor. But she needed...Renais to be able to do that. With each intake of breath, her thoughts were of him. Everytime she exhaled, she thought of him. Everytime her heart beat, she thought of him. Everytime she dreamed, it was of him.
"There's no point to existing without him," she said bitterly to herself. "I loved him. I love him. Oh, Light, how I love him. How it burns to think of him, though how it burns not to think of him! An impossible situation, perhaps. Though could it easily be left...?"
She remembered Renais the night he had walked her home; how young, how sprightly he had been. The mask that he had worn. How warm his eyes had been.
"I love him. I need him."
Something wasn't right. Certainly not. She was beginning to feel insecure, her heart pounding, her blood rushing. Every time she thought of him, she felt frightened. Insecure. She couldn't help but feel that, even if he could come back...He wouldn't. Had he loved Scen more than he loved her? Did he regret being engaged to Eleanea, hating the idea of being in the arms of anyone but Scen? It made her shudder, made her feel like pure ice. She tried not to think of it, tried to ignore that absolutely agonizing thought. But he could love anyone he wanted...Eleanea couldn't change that.
She hated everything that could possibly have put him in more torture than he may have been in. Surely, missing Scen would have done that, right? Surely...Missing Eleanea would have done the same. If he loved her. If he cared.
Stop that, she thought angrily to herself. If he didn't love you, then why did he propose?
In truth, she hated the fact that he may have loved someone more than he had loved her. She had never loved anyone so passionately, so wildly, so sweetly, so truly than he had loved him. It made her shiver to think that he may not feel the same way.
The times that she thought she hated him swam in her head, making her laugh a dark, humorless laugh. She would have so readily taken him back, if he had asked earlier. The only reason she didn't bring it up herself is because she thought he hated her. Of course he would be happy to have had Scen, who never said that she hated him, who was beautiful and strong. Eleanea hadn't known Scen, but she could probably guess that she hadn't run away with her emotions, was older, more mature...More deserving of him. She knew he had a chance to be happy...if he could join Scen in death.
Eleanea despised how much these thoughts made her feel like a jealous, stubborn child. She knew he had loved Scen madly -- she would have given anything so he could have her again, if he would be happy.
All she wanted was some assurance that he did, indeed, love her. But it was impossible to get, and it drove her mad. She didn't deserve him, she knew; he was far too beautiful, brilliant, kind, perfect.
Suddenly, she laughed bitterly as she thought about how long Elves could live.
"If one can live for centuries," she murmured, "then what do you live for? A songbird, the eternal sun...? Obviously, whoever or whatever created elves weren't aware what could happen when the core of their existence is ripped away from them...Obviously, they weren't aware of how torturous mere thoughts can be..."
Eleanea sat in front of her large, ebony piano, staring blankly at the keys. The song she had finally perfected -- sweet, sad, lullaby-like, loving, soft -- rang in her ears. She closed her eyes, trying to block out any sound around her, though that didn't help; his face swam before her.
"I can't take it anymore," she whispered, opening her eyes. "I can't." She rose in one swift, fluid moment. She had changed in the past few days. She wasn't happy -- no, hardly happy -- but she had pretended, because it was expected of her to get over it. But did one ever truly...get over it? No. No, of course they didn't.
Subconsciously had Eleanea written that lullaby for him. She didn't realize it until she had closed her eyes, when her heart felt constricted, when she finally knew that every note screamed her love for him, how much she missed him. She now refused to think of his name; everytime she did, the hole in her chest would burn and ache and make itself more than apparent.
She stood, frozen, in front of the window in her bedroom. Her blood was pounding in her ears, her thoughts shrieking as if they were in agony in her head.
I can't take it! her mind screamed. I can't do this anymore! I need some relief...I need to get out of the situation all together. As much as I smile and try to make myself seem strong, I'm not! I need this to end. I want...No. I need to hear his velvet voice again. No matter what it takes, I will find him and hold him and tell him how much I love him. How much I missed him...If he doesn't want me anymore, fine, but he is going to listen to me. Hes' going to let me see him, hear him, touch him, kiss him, smell his aroma.
Suddenly, an idea hit her, square in the chest. She smiled faintly -- the first true smile in months -- and bounded down the steps into the living room, bursting out into the bright sunshine. If she couldn't have him with her...Well, she could at least her him speak to her. No matter what the tone was.
When Eleanea arrived at the steep cliff, she was unaware of where she had traveled to. All she knew was that the ocean was swirling beneath her, rain was pelting her face, and that she was going to hear him speak to her again.
Her toes inched towards the edge of the cliff, and, suddenly, a voice filled her mind. It was as clear as if he'd been standing right next to her, whispering a warning in his silken voice.
"Don't do this, Eleanea," he said angrily, frustrated. "You're being childish."
Am I? she mused to herself, shaking her head. She got even closer to the ledge.
"Ele, please." His voice was pleading, now. Shaking. "Please don't. For me. Please." She closed her eyes, tilting her head up to the sky. The wind whipped her hair around her face. She smiled and, walking to the very edge, plunged off into the ocean.
"ELEANEA!" he shouted as she jumped. His voice rang in her ears as she fell, screaming. The screams weren't in fear, but in freedom. Adrenaline pumped excitedly through her veins, glad to be alive again. She did feel alive, for the first time. She felt completely and utterly free from everything, everyone. She was getting closer and closer to the swirling black water and, as she hit it, she smiled.
She fell deep into the ocean. At first, she was fine, able to hold her breath easily. But as the seconds ticked by, her lungs became constricted, her throat closing.
"Swim!" his voice begged. "Swim, Ele...Keep swimming." She tried. But she couldn't find the surface, and she didn't attempt to swim away from the rip tide.
Well, she thought in slight amusement. Dying isn't such an unpleasant experience...I rather enjoy the sound of the water. Besides, if the last words I hear are from him...Then, surely, it can't be so bad.
The mass of black was overwhelming, but she didn't mind. She was beginning to feel numb and light-headed, and the dying experience slowly eased in the uncomfortable department.
"Eleanea, no, don't die, don't die..." he said frantically. "Keep fighting. Find the surface, dearest, find it...Please find it!" She smiled slightly and, slowly, all was black, and the voice was silenced.
It felt like a rock was smashing against her back, and water flew out of her mouth. Was she dying, again? Because, this time, she didn't like it. The rock hit her again, and more salt water came out. Oh, no. This wasn't pleasant at all.
"C'mon," someone muttered next to her. "Get it all out..." Eleanea realized a rock wasn't hitting her, but a very strong hand. She came around long enough to peer up at Arisseda beating the water out of her, and a dim figure hovering beside her. Water continued to pour out of Eleanea's mouth and, before she knew it, her lungs seemed to be clear. She gasped for air, her breathing uneven.
"I heard him, Arisseda," she murmured faintly. "He was talking to me. He was protecting me, even if he wasn't there...I heard him."
"'Course you did, Ele," she cooed gently. "Go back to sleep, now. We're going home."
"I heard him..." Eleanea flashed a brilliant smile and was, once again, unconscious.
Eleanea was walking down a long, dark path. Yellow eyes glared at her from large, black bushes. There were hisses and roars she couldn't explain, but it didn't matter. She had somewhere to be, somewhere she couldn't possibly skip going to.
Slowly and patiently did Eleanea walk down this path, her eyes set straight ahead. She strolled past a river and, when she spared herself a glance did she notice her hair was thin and lank and her eyes were a dull, muddy green. Turning away from the water, she quickened her pace, her heart beating uncomfortably in her throat. Black birds and beasts darted in and out of her path, clawing and pecking at her, but never quite meeting her skin. Her legs were starting to feel weak, and she broke into a full-on run. The sky looked as if it was simply a black and purple swirl, and there seemed to be two large fel-green eyes looking out from it.
"Have to get there," she muttered. "Have to." Soon, there was a nasty voice ringing in her head; No, no...Your prize is not there, little one...Oh no no no. It's long since gone.
"Liar!" she cried at the air. Now she was running so quickly it felt as if she was flying. She passed cemetaries and dead bodies hanging from trees, beasts that looked like mutants. Her heart felt like it was playing a rythym in her chest; thump, bump, thump, bump, thump, bump...Her hands were flaming, cold, cruel laughter in her head. Finally, however, she reached her destination.
She was standing in front of a tree. Nailed to it by his head was a man. He was ragged, blood trickling down his neck. His face was thin and pale, his eyelids drawn over his eyes. His black hair seemed to be turning slowly grayer as the minutes ticked by. His long robes her ripped and torn and bloody.
Eleanea walked forward, hesitantly, and touched his face. His eyes flew open, but he said nothing for a few moments. He gazed at her sadly, a tear trickling down his face.
"I'm sorry, Eleanea," Renais's corpse murmured. "I love you." His eyes closed once more, and he was still. Eleanea fell to the ground, sobbing.
"No!" she shrieked. "No! No, please, no!"
Next thing she knew, she was kicking and screeching in her bed, her covers wrapped tightly around her.
"RENAIS!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "No, Renais! No! No! No!" Her bedroom door flew open, and Malendria rushed to her sister's side, attempting to restrain her. Eleanea collapsed on her sister's shoulder, crying and screaming incoherently. Malendria tried to shush her, comfort her...But there was nothing she could do. Finally, Eleanea wept and shrieked herself into sleep. Slowly, her sister lowered her onto her bed, covering her with her blankets.
Digging under Eleanea's bed, Malendria drew a vial filled with blue liquid from it and tipped it into her sleep sister's mouth, stroking her hair.
"No more nightmares for tonight, dearest," she said softly, kissing Eleanea's brow gently. Glancing back at her one last time, Malendria exited the room and sighed, shaking her head.
Profile
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
misseleanea- misseleanea
Syndicate
