A young Sin'dorei rogue -- sixteen or seventeen in human years -- walked slowly down the path that led to the school she had once attended. Most of the children were asleep, and the building looked black from the outside. The girl, named Apath'ei (( because I can't remember her real name )) gripped onto one of the vines hanging off of the school and started to scale the wall. Guards looked up at her, bored. They preferred to ignore anything that might qualify as disruptive.
Apatha'ei reached the familiar window rather quickly. It was the office of her mentor and favorite teacher, Eleanea Dawnsky. Quietly, she pushed the unlocked window open and dropped into the large, circular room. It was dark and uncomfortably quiet and still. It was neater than it had been in Eleanea's life, as the maintenance crew had cleaned out most of the things in the room. However, several of the possessions Eleanea had remained.
There were the tall bookcases lining the walls and nearly reaching the roof. They were made out of smooth mahogany, and the ones that had originally floated thanks to the power of arcane were now stationary and boring against the wall. There was a solid blue carpet stretched out in front of the huge wooden desk. On the desk were neatly stacked piles of parchment, and a few sketches and pictures taken with a Gnomish camera. The first sketch was of Eleanea's fiance, Renais Iceblood. The second was of Jandercia, the third of Mynai (this one was very old) and the last one of her best friend, Trell, leaning against her short staff. The photograph was of her family, smiling and laughing. The photograph featured Eleanea holding onto her brother's arm and leaning her face against his shoulder, laughing very hard.
Apatha'ei smiled slightly as she looked at the pictures. This was the Eleanea she had known and loved and had been taught by. She remembered the face Eleanea would make just as she was about to laugh; her eyes widening, her mouth opening, her nose crinkling as the bell-like sound came out. Apatha'ei gave a sad little smile as she picked up the sketches and photograph and put them in the bag worn on her back. She turned towards the window, looking outside at the sky.
"Goodbye, Eleanea," she murmured. "I hope you found the happiness you deserve."
Apath'ei didn't bother knocking on the door of the Dawnsky residence; she heard the music and the laughter coming from it. She leaned the picture frame against the door. The night was at peace around the home of the Dawnskies, for once. Apath'ei smiled a little, brushing her fingertips across the door. She pinned a note to it that had only six words on it:
I thought you would want this.
She took the sketch of Renais out of the bag and walked over to where Eleanea's headstone was. She placed the picture frame next to the headstone. Renais was smiling, and Apath'ei felt that he, too, was content. The loose ends were slowly being tied together.
She climbed up a tree and took a thick white envelope from her bag. She slid the remaining three sketches out of their frames and put them into the envelope. She had already written what she planned on sending:
You don't know me, but I was a student of Eleanea Dawnsky's. She was my greatest confidante and one of the best teachers the school in Silvermoon City had ever seen. She was kind and fair, but I'm sure that you already know that. Enclosed are three pictures I found in Eleanea's office. She often talked about you, and I feel that these pictures would be of more sentiment to you than to me. I hope this letter finds you in good health. May the Light bless you and all of your doings.
-Apath'ei
She put the letter inside the envelope and sealed it, writing Trell on the front in large, neat letters. A cockatiel that had often followed Apath'ei around since Eleanea died fluttered out of an open window from the Dawnsky house. Cookie, as he was called, landed on the branch next to the girl. She handed the envelope to him, and he took it delicately with his beak.
"You know Trell, don't you?" she asked quietly. He gave a quiet caw of understanding. "Good. Bring this letter to her as quickly as you can. Don't dawdle, now, Cookie."
He brushed a gray wing across Apath'ei's face as he flew off from the tree. She climbed further up the branches to watch him until he was a tiny speck in the distance, and finally, until he disappeared all together. She smiled.
Peace, serenity, she said to herself. I hope that is what I've given to those important in Eleanea's life.
(( OH MY GOD. I am so sorry this sucked, but I wanted to finish it. I have strep throat, as a side note. :( ))
The house that held the Dawnsky family was, for once, bustling. Candles stood in the large windows, casting a familiar and cozy glow around the room. Laughter floated out the open door. It may have been winter everywhere else, but not in Eversong Woods. The eternal spring was warm and bright; flowers still bloomed, birds still sang, and a pinkish tint was always in the sky.
The upstairs room had been cleaned, the one where the youngest Dawnsky resided. Her siblings had been grieving for months, and now they came together to live again. Malendria, Athela, and Aarfen sat around the dinner table and told stories of Eleanea. They talked of how clumsy she was, how sweet, how beautiful, and how wonderfully strange she was. They didn't bring up the horrible last few of months of her life, when she began to become less and less innocent. They didn't talk about Kelazuri, they didn't talk about her losing her virginity, they didn't dare bring up the weeks of confinement to her bedroom. Most especially, they didn't even think the name 'Renais.' No. Those were all things of the past.
They spoke of how lovely she was. Malendria most especially could explain every aspect of her sister's face. Eleanea's long auburn hair and roses-and-cream skin seemed to be permanently burned into all of their memories. However, none of them would forget her face at the end. It was sunken, unnaturally pale, gaunt. They could all speak about the good times, but they would never, ever forget the bad.
Time still ticks on, the earth still turns, and people move on. New lives and beginnings start every single day. Still, others pass on. Families break apart, but others bind more tightly together. The latter was true of the Dawnskies. Their sister had seemed to be the emotional glue of their family. When she was gone, they had no choice but to cling to each other.
Oftentimes, you don't realize how precious something is until it's gone. And, while you promise you'd never take anything for granted, you still slip up. You have something beautiful right in front of you and you forget to be grateful for it. Seconds later, it's gone, and you find yourself longing for it, wanting it. Eleanea, to her siblings, was like a beautiful bird that lives in your garden and that you didn't really ponder the beauty of anymore. Then, for a month, the bird doesn't come and you begin to miss seeing its bright and colorful plumage gracing the tree in your garden.
Athela had found some of the old music Eleanea had written, the happier pieces. However, they burned the piece of parchment that had the lullaby written on it. Eleanea would be able to take that to the grave. Her bedroom had been cleaned and made into its former glory. A vibrant, brilliant flower was growing out from her grave, as if a tribute to how beautiful she was, inside and out.
The Dawnsky children had written an obituary of sorts for their sister. It read:
Eleanea Dawnsky was someone that you only met once in a lifetime. She was brilliant, she was musical, she was stunning, and she had a kindness and compassion for life that couldn't be matched by many. Her students were inspired and energized by her teachings and her music. She was cherished by her friends, and those who knew her loved her.
Eleanea Dawnsky was stubborn, willful, and impulsive with an amazing ability to love. She loved and appreciated her friends, and was thankful for every moment that she was able to live. The most important person in the world to her was her fiance. His name will, hopefully, be forgotten, but he made her more happy than she had ever been before. She had a step-daughter who meant the world to her, and who she was able to unleash all of her love upon.
The spirit of Eleanea Dawnsky will live on, through all of those who knew her and loved her. She is, finally, at her final resting place, to lie in peace for the rest of eternity. We remember what she often said before she died; "When you call, I'll be there. I'll never truly leave you. Please don't say goodbye. I'll be back when it's over."
At the bottom, there was a drawing of her. It was simple, but it got the point across. It was the sketch Renais had drawn the night they first met. They left copies of the obituary on every bench in every major city they went to, in hopes that someone -- anyone -- who remembered her would see.
- Mood:
nostalgic
Eleanea wrote this quickly down on a spare piece of parchment. It read:
I love you.
-Eleanea
She dated it as October 23. This was about the time they should have been married last year. She dropped it in the mailbox and prayed it would reach him soon.
The air smelled of death, and it made the young woman recoil. She dug her fingernails into the soft earth and pushed herself up out of the grave; she was surrounded by hundreds of other headstones. The sky was green and black, and no sunlight peeked out anywhere. She immediately knew where she was.
"Tirisfal Glades," she croaked. Her voice was eerie, but not unpleasant. It resonated a bit, and sounded as if she were singing. Confused as to what was happening, she turned her head this way and that, desperately -- if vainly -- looking for an explanation as to why she was alive again.
Eleanea -- yes, that had been her name when she was alive -- stretched her hands out in front of her. Some of her bones were revealed, flesh having fallen away. Her fingers were long and thin, and her fingernails were yellow. She shuddered a bit and looked over at the town in front of her; she must have been in Brill. Yes, Eleanea thought. I remember this place well.
Slowly, she made her way over to the inn. Her legs creaked as she moved, and her long white dress, which was almost yellow, now, brushed against the dark green grass. The town was nearly deserted, except for a couple of tauren and Blood Elves darting around, holding buckets full of water. She realized that, when she saw that they were dressed up in costumes, that it must have been Hallow's End.
She cracked a slight smile; memories were flooding back in. She had always had a good time with...what was it? Trell? Yes, that was her name. She had always had a good time with Trell during this holiday. Then, upon remembering the name, she became excited. Trell must be still alive. Perhaps they would meet up! Perhaps they would meet up again. And what about Kelazuri? Jandercia?
Renais.
Was he alive? Was that what she had been told months ago? Maybe she would see him. Oh, good Light, how she wanted to see him. She would do anything to just look upon him again. He would, maybe, be repulsed by her, now. But that was a chance she was willing to take.
(There will be another post related to this, soon).
I'll pop in from time to time to check up on you guys, to say hi...But not as often as I am. I'm sorry. :( I know I sound a little selfish, but...I never do anything that may make me happy, that may be good for me, because I am constantly trying to please others. Frankly, I'm sick of it. I want to stop stressing myself out and just be light and careless, sometimes. I hope you will understand.
But honestly, you guys have been some of the best friends I've had, online or off. You may not realize it, but when I had a crappy day, just talking to you made it all better. You folks have no idea how much you've helped me, how grounded you've kept me, how you've always cared if I was upset. You've listened and comforted when I just feel like screaming and pulling my hair out. You've made me laugh when I don't even want to smile, and there is no way I'll ever to be able to repay you for these couple of years of friendship.
You've made me a better person, a more patient person, and a more willing person in ways that I could never explain. I have never had people close to my age that I could go to for anything. And yet, you guys let me complain and whine and be depressed, and for that, I am sincerely sorry. You've told me to shut up when I've needed it, but it never seemed to make you like me less. You are some of the most wonderful people I feel I will ever meet. I could say a lot more things that are more gushy and corny than you probably thing I'm capable of, but I'll keep it to myself. :)
But...I love you guys. Trell and Jandercia, you two are just two amazing, fantastic friends, and I'm sorry for everytime I've been short with you. Renais, I've had several huge Internet-crushes on you, (x]) and I have to admit I still have a slight one. More than anything, though, you've been there for me when I felt like I had no one else. All of you have. And for that, I want to thank you. Thank you for putting up with my stupid RP ideas. Thank you for being understanding during long absences and hackers. I never deserved your friendships, and I never will.
I love you.
- Mood:
distressed - Music:I Could Get Used To This - The Veronicas
This is the song my friend just sent me. I love you, too, C. >.>
- Music:Damnit Anna - The Morning Benders
Some girl who hates me for no apparent reason flipped out because she thought I slept with her boyfriend. First off, what? Second of all, I'm a virgin, 100%, and plan to stay that way until I'm married. Yes, the boy joked about wanting to (ew...) but he admitted that it never happened, and was never going to. She doesn't believe him, and now thinks I'm a lying whore. Goody gumdrops. No one else thinks it happened, so it doesn't bother me, but still...ouch.
Cats are also strange. I was getting ready for bed and my cat was in my room. He bounces on my bare back, scratching it up pretty bad. I screamed really loudly, which scared him, and threw him out of my bedroom. He's molested my mom, too. I think he was a perverted old man in another life...
- Mood:
apathetic - Music:Fireflies - Owl City
- Music:Every Time You Lie
Second, my best friend's crush has recently told me that he wished she'd leave him alone. He told me he had another girl in mind, and when I asked who, he tried to kiss me. I shoved him away, but then, (AS IF IT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH) he started to profess his love for me. It was so sugary and rehearsed-sounding that I almost vomited. This happened about a week ago, and I was hoping it would all die down, but it did not. He's gotten sort of obsessive, texting me a million times a day and calling once or twice. I've turned my phone off.
And third, on top of it all, my ex-boyfriend has been pestering me, too. He said that he was more sorry than words could describe, that he wanted me back, that he would never cheat again, that he thinks about me all the time, ect., ect....
Yeah, bud. I've heard it all before. Screw you.
As he did so often since Eleanea had left the world, he went to her bedroom, leaving everything untouched. However, things in the room seem to have been shifted, touched. Feeling slightly angry, he moved over to the piano, dragging his fingers lightly across the keys. Something wasn't right, here. But nothing was wrong, either. The room felt even emptier and cold, as if a part of Eleanea had come and left. Without another thought, Aarfen hurried to Anoralei's room.
Her bed was empty, as was the bedroom. He ripped through it, flipping over the bed and searching through the closet. He ran through the house, shouting her name and waking his sisters. They, too, searched for the little girl, but she wasn't anywhere.
"Aarfen," Athela whispered, stopping in her tracks. "What if he's...what if he's back?"
"That's impossible," her brother spat. "And far too convenient. Odd, isn't it, that he would come back right after Eleanea's gone? Maybe he never loved her. Maybe it was true. As far as I'm concerned, he killed Eleanea. There is no way I can respect him, like him, or care whether he's alive or dead."
But Athela had always been the patient one, the kind one, the trusting one. Quietly and discreetly, she exited the room, walking upstairs. She went into Eleanea's bedroom, which was exactly how Eleanea had left it; messy, dark, filled with memories and the shattering of a once brilliant mind and even more brilliant heart. The only thing that had not been destroyed was the golden engagement ring; that Eleanea had taken to the grave.
But Aarfen was right. The room felt different; part of Eleanea was had come and left it. The biggest part of her, the most important part of her, the reason she had died. Renais Iceblood had been to the home, and he had taken his daughter away with him.
Slowly, calmly, Athela walked over to the piano, pulling the lid over it. She found a clean piece of parchment and a useable quill, which she dipped into a half-shattered bottle of ink. On the paper she wrote:
To Mr. Renais Iceblood,
You must have heard of our sister's -- your fiance's -- passing. I do not know if you know why she is dead, but if you do, then I hope you do not take the blame upon yourself. As soon as you left, she was never quite herself. She didn't smile. She didn't laugh. She didn't joke. She was like an empty husk of a person, for a while.
She did seem to care about another man, but he couldn't take your place. No one could. If she loved you so much, then I'm sure you are truly a wonderful man and you're sorry for being gone. Eleanea understood. She was never angry at you, she never said a word against you. She said only how much she truly adored you and how much she wished you'd return. She treated Anoralei as if she had given birth to her herself. I know you both were very lucky to have almost married each other.
Eleanea deserved someone perfect, but obviously that is impossible, and I'm sure I'm biased because she was my sister. But by the way she made you seem, you sound nearly perfect. She would have been a sweet wife who would keep you on your toes at all time. I'm sorry you two never got to vow yourselves to each other.
Tell Anoralei that her uncle and aunts love her, and hope you two will be happy.
-Athela Dawnsky
When she slipped it into an envelope, she simply wrote "RENAIS ICEBLOOD" in large, curly cursive letters. She dropped it into the mailbox and prayed it would reach him in good health.
I'm pretty good at believing every word you say. I'm an expert at coming back for more every time you shove me down and keep me on the ground. I'm a master at tricking myself into thinking that maybe -- just maybe -- you'll change. I'm extraordinary at making myself look like a fool.
Do you know how it feels to go home, my voice hoarse from screaming at you? Do you know how it feels to know how eager you are to get rid of me? Do you know how it feels to see the realization on your face as you come to realize you made a huge mistake? You've said that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you, and that you're sorry for everything. I know you're not lying...but, baby, you have a funny way of showing it.
One second, you grab my hands and we're twirling around the room. The next, you're going outside because you're getting a phone call from the other girl you want. You tell me you have to go home, but I know what you're real destination is. You don't understand that I know you better than she ever will. You don't understand that I can read you like a book. You don't understand that she's just going to hurt you, because she's done it so many times before to so many other boys.
She looks just like you'd want her to -- long, pale blonde hair, unnaturally bright blue eyes, legs that run on for miles, tan skin...Guess you haven't seen her three makeup bags. I suppose you don't understand the use of colored contact lenses. Fake tans don't last very long, darling. Yes, she's the epitome of American beauty -- she's also artificial as hell.
You look at me, and what do you see? Long auburn hair, bright green eyes, oddly pale, rosy red cheeks. Doesn't have the same appeal, now, does it? You called me 'down-to-earth' because I don't wear makeup. You tell me over and over again that I don't need it, but still you run to that girl. You ask me how I know she is so fake; darling, she used to be my best friend, until I saw her kissing you behind the bleachers.
You don't know what it feels like to see that, and I doubt you give a damn. I've been so stupid and so naive, but I still love you. I will always love you, no matter how much I try to fight it. You're the light in my life; you make me laugh, and cry, and smile without even realizing it. You don't realize how much I need you, how much I love you, and how long I've loved you. I know that you love me, too...But you're gonna have to make a choice -- do you want the very meaning of 'modern beauty,' or someone who will love you unconditionally? Do you want someone who will use you for her own benefit, or someone you can call a best friend? Someone who you can go to for anything...tell me, do you want the "girl-next-door" or "Miss America?"
- Mood:
lonely - Music:Do You Know -- Enrique Iglesias
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You said that you'd catch me before I even tripped
Just to feel me in your arms
Kiss me quick, but make it last
Take my hand, lead me onto the grassy dance floor
We'll forget about everything behind us
My heart's beat is nearly deafening
Like a child running frightened from the dark
But you have me hypnotized, I can't look away
From those perfect eyes
[CHORUS]:
With you sitting next to me
I can't stop myself from laughing while I sing
You take away the armor I made for myself
Bit by bit revealing my heart
I'm so helpless against you
The one who conquered over me with sweet and gentle words
Keep this slow, brush my hair back from my face
So you can kiss it with your lips that are light as butterfly wings
I'm so scared and so intrigued, but I know you can lead me
To where the sun shines bright.
All I can see is your hand in mine
In this crystal moonlight
Baby, don't let go
'Cause I'm so hypnotized by your velvet-voice
When you whisper you love me.
[Chorus]
I think I'm falling too fast
But I've known you for too long
For this not to happen
Tonight, I'll drop all my inhibitions and, for once
Let someone see my fears, my wants, my needs
You're the only one who listens
When I cry about the boy who moved on so quickly
Step back for a just moment, because when you're so close
I can't breathe
Even though you're my only source of fresh air.
[Chorus]
So now you know who am I,
And why I'm so afraid to let someone know who I am,
But you don't hesitate to strip away
All the parts of the manufactured-me
To learn my secrets and deepest fears
And never, ever, ever, ever
Have I wanted anything so bad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Death had been, for the most part, peaceful. Eleanea had been happy, cold and still in the ground. But now, all she wanted to do was go back. All she wanted was for her blood to be able to flow, to touch warm flesh, to smell the sweet fragrance of Eversong Woods. Her senses were dead, and her face was gray, drawn, and thin. Her hair had turned mostly white, with jets of auburn threading through.
She sat on a stiff, straight-backed wooden chair, staring straight ahead. It was in a nearly pitch-black room, which was unnervingly quiet and stationary. A hunched over Elf-man paced in front of her, licking his lips and laughing softly under his breath. Soon, though, he stood still and gazed at her steadily, smirking. Eleanea didn't move, nor did she look at him. Her chest was still but, if she had air to breathe, it would have come out in short, hard bursts.
"Eleanea Dawnsky," the man -- named Keriando -- drawled at length. His voice was like a blade, sharp and cold. It sent a shiver through Eleanea's whole body, and her hands trembled a bit in her lap. She stared down at her small, bare feet, refusing to look at the man. However, he stepped forward, catching her face in a vice-like grip and forcing her to look at him. She spat at him, and he wiped it off with one finger, laughing quietly.
"I see the fire hasn't died with death," he murmured. Eleanea didn't reply, just glaring with piercing hatred at him. He grinned and released her face, starting to pace back and forth again.
"Tell me, Eleanea...Did you really find any relief in death? Did you truly think that by just running away from your problems that you'd have a chance to be happy again?" Keriando whispered, his voice oily. She didn't answer, gripping the edge of the seat of the chair so tightly her knuckles turned white. He stopped pacing once more, turning slowly to face her. If she had anymore tears to shed, they would have been streaming down her face, thick, fast, and uncontrollable.
"I didn't know I would die," she whispered, her voice trembling. It was more melodic than when she had been alive, and far more pleasant, though it was slightly eerie. It resonated, but it sounded like a chorus of angels singing. "My mind was shattered. I thought I was going to be with...with..."
"Renais," Keriando sneered. "That stupid, worthless man who left you alone, who left you to die. He didn't care if his leaving drove you to insanity. He had his own selfish mission to take care of. He left you to take care of his bratty little daughter, to cry in your room every night, to hate yourself for living without him. He never cared for you...And now he's back, and he'll find an even more beautiful girl to fall in love with and forget all about you."
This was too much for Eleanea. She tried to get out of the chair, but was stuck, bound to it.
"That's not true!" she cried. "He's not back! He's not back! He loved me...He was going to come back! You LIAR!"
"You're lying to yourself, little girl!" Keriando hissed. "He never wanted you...I bet he won't even care that you're gone. I'm sure he won't even realize it."
Eleanea stopped struggling against the bonds that held her in the chair, her whole body shaking. She slumped over, crying dry tears. There was a long silence, save for her gasping. Soon, though, the room grew still and silent again.
"And what did you do to provide food for you and your family?" Keriando snarled. "Sell your body for money? You could at least have been a courtesan...But no. You had to go and be a cheap, dirty whore. You make me sick, you worthless, weak, frightened, stupid little tramp."
"SHUT UP!" she screamed, thrashing wildly against the invisible binds holding her to the chair. "You bastard! You have no idea what it was like! I ALREADY HATE MYSELF!" She was shrieking at the top of her lungs now, all the anger she hadn't been able to express with her shattered mind flooding her cold body. Her mind was back, but she wished it wasn't, because all she could hear was Keriando laughing and throwing every nasty thing he could think of at her.
"And what about Kelazuri? Casim? And Anoralei, Trell, your sisters? You left them all! You are disgusting. You are one of the most horrible excuse for a person I've ever seen, you selfish slut. I'm sure they won't miss you, don't worry -- what did you ever do for them? What did you ever give any of them? You were just someone who took and took and took and gave nothing back."
"Stop!" Eleanea shouted, gasping in dry tears. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I loved them, I would have done anything for them! STOP IT!"
Keriando just laughed, watching as Eleanea finally fell to the floor as the invisible ropes were taken off. She curled up into a ball, screaming to herself. Her whole body trembled and shook and, for once, she regretted her decision.
I'm going to start taking guitar lessons (GWEE-TARR) soon. Yay. Happy faces. And I'm going to my mom and dad's 25th anniversary party this evening...More happy faces! Anyway, though. This was a pointless post, but I'm going to force all of you people to read it anyway and you damn well better enjoy it. :D
I LOVE YOUZ.
Papers were strewn all across the floor, as were empty wine bottles. Rags that had once been beautiful gowns lay in shreds next to her bed, which was almost overturned. The window was still wide open and the curtains drawn back. At the foot of the bed was a trunk with half of the contents spilling out. But one paper in particular caught Malendria's eye.
It was a letter, in Eleanea's handwriting (the handwriting she had before her mind shattered.) It was short, but it was enough to make Malendria pick it up. The neat, small words seemed to be written just before Eleanea had leapt from the window. It read:
To Trell,
I know that I have been impatient with you. I know that I have been depressed and unpleasant company. I know that I have made you worry and frustrated, and for these things I am more sorry that words can describe. You have been a friend, a mother, and a sister to me, and so I thank you for giving me memories that I will never forget. Thank you for helping me. Thank you for making me laugh. I will never forget you, not even as my life draws to an end. I hope you can forgive me for what I am about to do. Perhaps I will come back, someday...Somehow. But for now, it seems unlikely. So thank you for everything you've done for me, Trell, and being the best friend I've ever had.
Love,
Eleanea
P.S. Tell Anoralei that I love her, that I'm so incredibly sorry, and that I will tell her father that she misses him.
Malendria ran a hand through her long, thick hair, just staring at the letter. A bit of Eleanea's madness had leaked into the letter; how could she come back? Malendria prayed that, if there was indeed a way, Eleanea would take it. But there didn't seem to be a way, in the past or in the future...
Eleanea's sister put the letter in an envelope and dropped it in the mailbox, resisting the urge to burst into tears once more.
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